On another personal note

I am again breaking my rules of not posting anything personal on this blog. Because reasons.

This is more of a… note to self. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve been feeling kindov low for the past couple of months and I had a good talk with a couple of old friends and that was really, extremely helpful.

Sometime, you need someone to tell you something what you already know.

I hope this will help you.

Of course since I dont make my personal life any of anyone’s business, this is going to be vague as fuck.

1.) Do not make excuses for anyone. Not anymore.
2.) Out of sight, out of mind.
3.) If someone wants to be with you, you’ll know. You’ll be.
4.) Again, number 1.
5.) A change of scenario could help.
6.) It’s always good to talk to someone.
7.) Be selfish sometimes.
8.) Again, number 1.
9.) If you don’t see eye to eye now, chances are, you’ll never ever will.
10.) Where do you draw the line? When you’re not part of that person’s 5-year plan.
11.) I dont even have my own 5-year plan. I probably have 6-month plan, but that’s my limit. Probably because nothing will ever go the way I plan anyway. Life’s fucked up like that.
12.) I’m just saying that because I’m not part of his and that broke my heart. But what are you going to do. You don’t force yourself on someone. That’s unfair to the person. That’s unfair to you. That’s unfair to the person who you’re supposed to be with, if that person exists.
13.) Eva Green is a goddess. Just a very random thought.
14.) Movies and literature promise grand gestures of love but there’s no such thing. I only mentioned that because my old friends were talking about OTWOL and I have no idea what that was.
15.) Listen to your friends.
16.) If your friends tell you that the guy’s a jerk and you should reconsider the relationship, they’re more likely to be right. Remember,  friends are on YOUR side.
17.) I need to read a book that does not remind me of the person. But that’s awfully hard, goddammit. I should consider… bios… of… Obama? What?
18.) Again, number 1.
19.) I guess I’m lucky that I never lose my passion and I still love what I do. I am scared that someday I, too, will grow tired and by then it’s too late.
20.) Listen to me.
21.) You can never really protect a person from a heartache. That thought is heartbreaking.
22.) Six months ago, I was willing to do something extraordinary for another human being. Now, I’m not sure if it’s worth it. Probably not.
23.) Again, numer 1.

I realize now that I am a different person to who I was 10 years ago, and I probably will be a different person 10 years from now (if I am not dead already). Actually I was a different person a year ago, and tragedy changed me. My persepective changed. My priorities changed. I am now scared of the next 12 months. Scared and excited. I probably wont even remember the context of this post by then.

I am done making excuse for anyone. Not anymore.

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March 17, 2016